Booze, Boundaries, and Better Choices in the Lifestyle

The choice to drink—or not to drink—is a personal one. For some, a glass of wine or a cocktail is part of how they relax, celebrate, or feel more confident in social situations. For others, alcohol just isn’t appealing, or it’s something they choose to avoid entirely. There’s no one-size-fits-all answer. But in the lifestyle, where connection, trust, and clear communication are everything, being mindful of alcohol consumption becomes even more important.

The lifestyle runs on one core value: consent. And the thing about consent is that it needs to be enthusiastic, clear, and sober. It’s not just a checkbox you tick once—it’s a living, breathing agreement that can change in the moment. Unfortunately, alcohol can blur the lines. It slows reaction times, lowers inhibitions, and sometimes makes us say or do things we wouldn’t if we were fully present. That might sound like fun in theory, but in reality, it can lead to misunderstandings, awkward moments, or even situations that cross boundaries.

And here’s the truth: overindulgence simply isn’t sexy. Nobody likes dealing with a sloppy drunk—whether it’s struggling to hold a conversation with someone who can barely stand up, or watching them make choices that clearly aren’t in their best interest. Even if everyone is well-intentioned, alcohol-fueled interactions often lead to confusion, regret, or hurt feelings.

One of the most underrated perks of staying in control—whether that means no drinking at all or keeping it to a minimum—is waking up without regrets. No “What did I say last night?” moments. No wondering if you hurt someone’s feelings. No trying to piece together the evening through a foggy haze. And let’s not forget avoiding the dreaded hangover—because nothing kills the mood for morning-after cuddles (or round two) quite like a pounding headache and an upset stomach.

For me personally, I don’t drink. If I do, it’s usually just one. That’s not because I think alcohol is evil—it’s because I like to be fully present. I want to read the room. I want to remember the details. I want to make conscious, confident choices about who I engage with and how. The memories I take away from a night in the lifestyle are just as important to me as the moments themselves, and I want them to be crystal clear.

The other benefit? Being present for my partner. If I’m checked out, distracted, or under the influence, I can’t give them my full attention—and in the lifestyle, our connection comes first. That’s what keeps our relationship strong and ensures that no matter what happens, we leave an event feeling closer than when we arrived.

If you do choose to drink, here are a few ways to keep yourself (and everyone around you) in a good place:

• Pace yourself. Alternate alcoholic drinks with water or non-alcoholic beverages.

• Eat before and during the event. Food helps slow the absorption of alcohol.

• Know your limits—and stick to them. If you’re not sure, err on the side of less.

• Check in with your partner. Make sure you’re both on the same page about your comfort level with each other’s drinking.

• Have an exit plan. If you feel yourself getting too tipsy, step back, regroup, and refocus on enjoying the night without more alcohol.

At the end of the day, whether you drink or not, the goal is to have fun, make meaningful connections, and walk away from the night with memories you’re proud of. In the lifestyle, the sexiest thing you can bring to the table is your presence, your respect for boundaries, and your ability to truly connect.

Because nothing—absolutely nothing—is hotter than knowing everyone involved was there because they wanted to be, fully aware, fully engaged, and fully themselves.